Our son, Caleb Michael Coombs passed away on September 22, 2006. The umbillical cord twisted so many times that it cut off the circulation and he passed away. It's called "Torsion of the umbillical cord" and is apparently very rare. He was two days shy of 27 weeks.
I went through 15 hours of very painful labor as the different meds just weren't working right. By the time they got the epidural working properly, and within an hour or so, Caleb was born.
All of that and our precious little angel was gone.
We held Caleb and had him blessed and were in awe of how handsome he was. He was the perfect little boy with perfect little hands and little feet and his little face was adorable. It breaks our hearts to think that our beautiful little boy is gone.
The past week hasn't been easy. But we are taking it a step at a time. On Tuesday we went to the funeral home to see him one last time and to wrap him in a blanket we'd gotten him. On Wednesday we had the graveside service at 1PM. The Pastor did a beautiful job.
After the graveside service we packed up our stuff and headed to BC for some away time. We arrived home last night and today we are tidying up. We will start calling family members as soon as we are up for it.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Our Angel
An Angel Never Dies:
Don't let them say I wasn't born, that something stopped my heart.
I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I've loved you from the start.
Although my body you can't hold, it doesn't mean I'm gone.
This world was worthy not of me, God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul.
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll find your arms, someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was "meant to be"...
"God doesn't make mistakes".
But that won't soften your worst blow, or make your heart not ache.
I'm watching over all you do, another child you'll bear.
Believe me when I say to you that I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you, when you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips, and then you'll understand.
Although I never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn't mean I never "was"
An Angel never dies.
Posted by Care at Monday, October 02, 2006
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11 comments:
Oh Carrie, I am so sorry to hear this. I know, firsthand, the sadness when you miscarry. I know that the chance that you had to meet Caleb, will always brings tears and sadness. I am praying for you and Mark and for Caleb, the perfect spirit. I trust that God is strengthening you for things you cannot imagine. You are in my thoughts
I am so sorry to hear about your loss Carrie.
I cannot beging to imagine what you and Mark are going through, but want you to know that I will be thinking of you and praying for you both and Caleb.
It's one of those things that doesn't seem to make sense, and maybe never will, but you have many people that love and care for you, and wish you the best.
I know it's early now, but you will both be amazing parents, and I know Caleb knows how much you both love him.
I hope this time in BC helps you both...
Take care.
Mark and Carrie, so sorry and sad to hear this, thinking of you 2 so much, glad you got away for a bit.
Caleb will always be with you, remember that, hes your special angel now, and will always be by your side...
Our love remember is with you at this time...Love you Linda and Ronald...
xxxxoooooo
Carrie and Mark,
I am so so sorry for your loss. Never being a parent,or ever going through a pregnancy, I cannot fully imagine what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you at this time.
God does work in mysterious ways, and sometimes we can't understand why things happen the way they do. But in my heart I do believe this. I do believe Caleb was an angel, passing through, and he was meant to come into you and Mark's life to let you know that things will be okay; that no matter what sadness, or difficulties you may encounter in this life, you did have a moment when an angel did pass through your life, and in knowing that, Caleb will be with you forever.... HE came to show you the beauty life can bear; the priceless moments we sometimes fail to recognize; the important things in life.
I know that right now, its hard to see this event in a positive way... I know I would be mourning and hurting for along time. Its hard to see that good things will come, and life will carry on, and one day, you will share in the joys of parenthood...
But one day I hope you can reflect on these moments as the moment when an actual angel was held in your arms..
Its a blessed moment....
Jen
Carrie,
You truly are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry.
Alicia Weiler
I am truly at a loss for words. As a parent of 1, I can't imagine a loss this traumatic.
Carrie, I have both a shoulder and kleenex, just call me where and when.
Mark, What can I say?
You both must be in a state of misbelief and shock at the moment, working more by robotics, than having a purpose etc.
As I said, I have the kleenex and a shoulder, and I also have the time.
Peter Walker
carrie You all are in my prayers and thoughts, as you know i lost my first child as well . and i wanted to share this poem with you...i wrote it for my child and myself.
Our lives can change
All in the blink of an eye
You can understand how,
But you don’t know why.
Life’s now different,
But you don’t want it to be.
Everything becomes blurred
It’s a haze and you can’t see.
One minute you are blessed,
With a miracle of life
The next it’s taken
And it cuts like a knife.
You feel empty
And you feel sad
The emptiness consumes
With this child you once had.
Soon you’ll gain strength
As the months pass by
Then life will change again
And you’ll hardly cry.
Still needing that shoulder
And a hand to hold
With your love beside you
The nights aren’t so cold.
But your mind still lingers
And your soul still grieves
One day soon,
Your heart still believes.
just remember im always here for you no matter how far.
farrah waterfall
I heard from a lady who had a similar problem, with a similar unfortunate outcome, and she said that she received numerous offers of this and that, BUT the one thing that she really needed was a HUG.
Consider you "both" HUGGED.
Peter
Carrie
I am so sorry for the tremendous loss that you have experienced. I am also extremely impressed with the grace and dignity you wrote this post. What an amazing woman you are!
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Alayne
Carrie and Mark,
How are things, Can I do anything for you to help?
It's been a while, and I was just wondering, without trying to get the kleenex box out for you.
You are in my thoughts etc. daily.
Peter Walker
Hi Carrie,
With all respect to your first commentor, don't you just hate it when somebody says "miscarry" after you've just been trough LABOR?
I am so so sorry for you and I wish we didn't get to "meet each other" because of our shared trauma last month. May be our boys are now friends in heaven. That's a reassuring thought! I will be following you here and will be thinking of you and Caleb.
Hope you're doing better. What works for me - small and silly may be - is counting my blessings that I still have, every day, over and over and over again. There is still a lot to be grateful for. Even the grief, in a weird way, I now notice, is something to be grateful for, because it made me so much more compassionate and humble already.
Know that you can ALWAYS send me an e-mail or even call me if you need a friend that is going through the exact same stages as you right now. I mean it... feel free!
Jessica
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