I've heard on many occasions that Grey's Anatomy is a really good show and I should watch it some time...
Tonight I watched it.
The show had a couple on there who were pregnant. I guess the woman fell or something and she broke her wrist and .... her baby was STILLBORN too.
First they showed the ultrasound with the baby not moving just as I saw my baby not moving. That picture will be forever in my memory. Then the horrible words confirm what you can see..I'm so sorry your baby is dead..
The next thing you see is the girl giving birth to her baby and crying and her husband holding her...that took me right back to the moment that Caleb was born.
The nurse hands the couple their baby and they just cling to eachother and hold the baby close as they sob.
What a bittersweet moment that is. Holding your precious child in your arms but your baby isn't breathing and never will. Oh how I miss my son. I miss my boy.
All in all Grey's Anatomy is a good show. I am glad I watched it.
I am doing better and finally able to get out of the house a bit BUT it's so easy for me to get thrown back into this place of sadness and dispair. And I still am not very comfortable around a lot of people.
I've been trying to keep myself busy with baking and cleaning and putting pictures in albums and that sort of thing but as the weeks pass it's also getting harder..Christmas will be here soon and we were supposed to be anticipating the arrival of Caleb on January 12th...
I just want the next several weeks to pass by quickly because I don't know that i can truly move on until that part is over. I am not looking forward to the holiday season. We will be alone like we always are, it sucks that we don't have any family here. Cliff and Lori go to her Aunt's place and my sister goes to her boyfriends parents place so it's just Mark, Dad and I. Oh well perhaps it's better that way this year. I am thankful that my Dad is here to share Christmas with.
On a brighter note....I made a lot of cookies yesterday and today I cleaned up the house and Mark and I did our Costco shopping this evening so that means we will have the entire weekend to hang out together without having to worry about anything. I think we are going to make pizza again tomorrow. I love homemade pizza! I am so glad that Dad convinced us to purchase a breadmaker. Fresh bread is waaay better than store bought and homemade pizza dough is much better too!
Okay - bedtime. G'nite.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Grey's Anatomy
Posted by Care at Friday, November 10, 2006
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7 comments:
It's great that you feel the way you do about having watched Grey's alast night. You are strong. I hope that the time doesn't go quickly, but that it goes painlessly for your little family.
much love,
I'll explain myself... life goes by too quickly as it is, I think. Enjoy this time that you have, and pray that it be easy, painless and enjoyable. (I will) ((I hope that makes sense)).
I watched Grey too that night and also thought of you two, felt so bad, I wonder like I said to Ronald, I wonder if you guys were watching it, its really going to take time, and that pain will be a little easier..Our thought are with you, and hey if you need family were right here, and when you want to talk im here also...
Love ya Linda
Swetheart, Carrie,
From my own bad experiences over the past few years, I can tell you that many things trigger the memories, and bring me to tears, and you are no different. You are human and suffer human emotions, the hard thing is to take strength from those experiences and
Hell Carrie, I don't know, it's been 6 years for me and I still am nowhere near getting over things.
Time is supposed to tell and perhaps it will, BUT don't shut yourself away as I have done. That doesn't solve anything either.
Hi Carrie-
I've just come across your blog, and am so sorry for your misfortunes. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.
HOWEVER, I am happy to hear that you have a wonderful husband and a very cute dog! I'm sure both shed positive light and keep you busy, to say the least!
I now live in Edmonton, so if you are ever in the neighbourhood, please let me know!
Talk soon,
Linda Piroddi
Yep, right there with you! I also watched the show and I also was thrown right back into the memory of that horrible morning. Even though for me it happened very different. I just went into labor with false hopes. Either way, the outcome was the same.
I posted on it as well, a week ago.
I hear you when you say you want the holidays to be over with. I am not feeling the christmas spirit at all and the sooner January will be over, the better. I told my daughter that her brother "could" be born as soon as the damn tree was up (even though his due date wasn't until Jan 3rd). And now... everybody is excited about the holidays, but me! Even my own husband and daughter have moved on and defenitely don't think about him on a daily basis anymore (at least, they don't share that with me anymore), but I still MISS him so much.
I wish you all the best these days. Soon it will be spring again, let'r remind each other!
Love, Jess
Hi Carrie,
I've been reading your blog every now and then from Liz's site and I'm so sorry to hear about Caleb. It's probably the most difficult thing for a family to experience but it sounds like you and Mark have a solid marriage and I'm sure that someday you'll be able to accept your loss and have many more children. No baby will ever take the place of the one you lost but perhaps one day the memories will be less painful.
I'm living out in Canmore and I'm actually a nurse on the postpartum unit at the Foothills so I'm in Calgary quite often. I'm here for you if you need a friend.
Melanie Bloor
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