Tonight I had my friend, Jenny, over for dinner as it is her birthday tomorrow. We had a nice dinner of roasted chicken, stuffing, mashed potatos and turnip.
After dinner she and I headed into the yellow room which I have converted into a room for scrapbooking and drawing and stuff. There is a big table and a loveseat in there which takes up pretty much the entire space as it's a rather small room. So we spent the evening working on our projects.
After Jenny left I was busy sketching and Rocco was laying on the loveseat and he was sleeping and started whimpering and such so I went over to him, picked him up and held him in my arms.
I couldn't help thinking as I gazed down at him that I was supposed to be holding little Caleb and comforting him and looking into his adorable face......instead I have empty arms and a broken heart. I wonder how much longer this intense sadness is going to last....how much longer until I can finally feel some real joy again..................
Anyway, my project this evening was a card for my friend Natasha who had a little girl on Jan. 10th.
We were in Family Foods on Sunday and ran into her husband and brother and they were very excited to relay the news of this beautiful addition to their family. Their faces were glowing and I am so happy for them. They showed me a picture of Ava and she is gorgeous. I am so very happy for them!!
I couldn't help feeling so sad afterwards tho and actually started crying while still in the store. Can't help thinking that their joy should have been our joy as well.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Tonite
Posted by Care at Tuesday, January 16, 2007
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5 comments:
Carrie, My heart continues to go out for you. It takes a lomg time to move forward from that type of loss, Other babies are hard to look at without feeling personal loss. You can do it. Your time will come so just keep your head up and think forward about your future. You and Mark will get past this. So love each other and talk. When it is time you will have a great child just don't give up. YOu are loved by many so keep looking forward.
Luv - Terri
Happy Birthday Jenny
Carrie, as with all trauma, people are surprised at the little things, the inocuous things that bring the feelings and memories back. They do take some getting over, sometimes you / we / I need to seek out help from professionals. They will not understand our pains, having never experienced them for themselves, BUT they do have coping techniques - some of which work out better for some people than for others.
Try them.
Peter
Still sending you love and peace.
I hope the New Year can bring you and Mark peace...
You deserve it... I know you will never forget, and you never should, but I hope your days and nights become easier...
Carrie hun, it will take a little longer,for the pain to get easier, it really never goes, but it does get easier...You also can remember that Caleb is a special angel now, and hes always with you and Mark, try to remember that, I hurt for you guys, and praying one day, you will be ok....
Love Linda
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