Quiet few days

Sorry guys - there hasn't been and still isn't a whole lot to write about. Life is pretty quiet here for us.

• House is pretty well back in order.
• Dad is doing good.
• Mark is doing good.
• The dogs are good.
• Crocheting is going well...just wish I knew what I was making...haha
• Weather has warmed up.
• Went to Costco with Dad yesterday.
• We spent too much.
• I am driving to Red Deer tomorrow morning to meet someone for lunch.
• I'm looking forward to it.
• Dad and I made chili for dinner and it was pretty good.
• Mark and I went over to Ron's place tonight and hung out.

That's it.

What is new with all of you? Leave a comment or send an email to let me know!

Byeeeeeee for now.

Love & God bless!

Tonight my friend, Karine, from highschool came over for dinner. We were really good friends in highschool but this is only the second time we've seen eachother since then.
She works for Air Canada and had a layover here.
I am so glad that she came - we had a really nice visit.

Tonite

Tonight I had my friend, Jenny, over for dinner as it is her birthday tomorrow. We had a nice dinner of roasted chicken, stuffing, mashed potatos and turnip.

After dinner she and I headed into the yellow room which I have converted into a room for scrapbooking and drawing and stuff. There is a big table and a loveseat in there which takes up pretty much the entire space as it's a rather small room. So we spent the evening working on our projects.

After Jenny left I was busy sketching and Rocco was laying on the loveseat and he was sleeping and started whimpering and such so I went over to him, picked him up and held him in my arms.
I couldn't help thinking as I gazed down at him that I was supposed to be holding little Caleb and comforting him and looking into his adorable face......instead I have empty arms and a broken heart. I wonder how much longer this intense sadness is going to last....how much longer until I can finally feel some real joy again..................

Anyway, my project this evening was a card for my friend Natasha who had a little girl on Jan. 10th.

We were in Family Foods on Sunday and ran into her husband and brother and they were very excited to relay the news of this beautiful addition to their family. Their faces were glowing and I am so happy for them. They showed me a picture of Ava and she is gorgeous. I am so very happy for them!!

I couldn't help feeling so sad afterwards tho and actually started crying while still in the store. Can't help thinking that their joy should have been our joy as well.

Today I went downtown to meet my friend Ingrid for lunch. We had a short, but nice, visit. We are planning on having dinner next Monday so we'll get to visit longer then.

After that I met my friend Suzie at the mall downtown and we went to Second Cup and had our Vanilla bean latte (mmmm) and then we shopped around for a bit. It was so good to see her again - she is such a sweetheart!

When I got home Mark was putting another coat of paint on the trim in our room again and I got dinner ready (we had leftovers). Then I helped him paint the doors and then we talked to his Dad and he also talked to his cousin, Todd while I tidied up and re-arranged the rooms.

I will leave you with a few pictures of the dogs (big surprise) and a pic of the new paint job & floor in our bedroom.

Well yesterday was Caleb's due date. I miss my boy. Funny how a date on the calendar can do weird things to people. I didn't let it affect me because I kept myself compltely busy the whole day...cleaning, going shopping, going for dinner with Mark, and going out with my friend, Gary.

I was asked if I was more upset yesterday and well I guess I can't answer honestly because I anticipated that I would be more sad and so I just kept busy so that I didn't have a chance to think about it!

So perhaps the real answer would be yes I was more upset yesterday but didn't want to allow myself to feel that so I avoided it by keeping busy. That is the only way I am able to keep on going because I am so frigin sensitive about everything and the only way I've kept on these last few months was to keep busy and not allow myself to think about my son. Right now I am thinking about him and I am sad. But I need to get dinner cooked and I have other chores to do and so I have no time to think about that. I can't let myself I can't be taking any more trips to BC to "get away" so I'd best just keep on going. Perhaps someday we will be lucky enough to start a family.

My friend, Natasha, must have had her baby by now. I know I told you Judy, when you were here - Natasha was due a week before me. It was so neat to go thru 6 months of my pregnancy with a dear friend and then we lost track..... and I've been a shitty friend cuz I've hardly spoken to her at all. I should give her a call though to make sure she and baby are doing okay......................

K well enough babbling for now.

My time away

Well as I mentioned before, I haven't been in Calgary for the last week. I took off on the bus on Jan 2nd and headed for Kamloops, BC. I stayed in Kamloops at a hotel so that I could have some much needed time to myself. I saw a few very dear friends, Bradley Dean and Lori and I also hooked up for dinner with a highschool bud, Crystal. I also hooked up with a Farrah and her husband, Brett. It was real good to see them both.

My other Dad picked me up and took me to Savona and I stayed with him and Mom for a few days. That was my favourite part of the trip. I miss those two so very much and we had a really good visit. The highlights of seeing them was the trip we took to Merritt. They both lived there before and they showed me their old hangouts, places they used to live, and places they used to work. Dad is the perfect person to travel with because he knows every interesting spot to check out in the area.

Other than that we just stayed home and relaxed and visited and all that. Mom started teaching me how to crochet, too.

The trip was too short tho - I missed Mark so much that I chose to go home instead of staying an extra day...trouble is that now I miss THEM a lot! LOL.

While I was in Savona I also spent the night with my old neighbour, Bev. We went to my old church on Sunday and then went out for dinner with a couple from the church.

Sorry to the friends that I didn't get to see while I was in Kamloops. We'll be back in the summer and I'll try to see you then. This trip was mostly just so that I could gain some of my strength again. I feel a bit better now so the trip was worth it.

On January 6th it would have been my Nan's 86th birthday.
I really miss her. We spent lots of time together. She was one of a kind. She had the biggest heart of anyone I know and we had many fun times together.
The last time I saw her was when Mark was with me and she told me that he was "THE ONE". How right she was! She would have been so happy to know that we got married.
I love you Nan!

Birthday Pup

Here is a picture of Lucky that was
taken on January 2nd which was his 11th birthday.
What a handsome dog he is :-)

sorry i haven't written anything for the last week and a bit but i haven't been in calgary. i just got back last night and i will get caught up on the posts tomorrow probably.
hope everyone is doing okay!

Goodbye 2006 and hello 2007!

For us 2006 has been a year of challenges. We have suffered a great loss and that has changed us. Losing a child, in the womb or not, is a indescribable loss and no one can go through something like that without being changed on the inside. The pain never goes away - it becomes a part of who you are. The trick is to learn how to deal with it and hopefully as time goes by the pain will become less. We will never forget our first born son, Caleb, and we will always love him with all of our hearts. He is our very own little angel now and we know that he is safe in the arms of Jesus.

We have faced other challenges this past year and we had moments of happiness, too.

We are looking to the year 2007 with hope in our hearts and wishing for a time of "smooth sailing" We need a rest from the difficulties and pray that God will grant us this wish.

I had the following sent to my inbox from Christian Women Today...it's a part of a daily devotional and I want to include it because it is exactly what I am praying for...daily little changes and choices to be made that will be pleasing to my loving God. I pray that I can look to the future with anticipation and hope. Also to appreciate the little things in life. I would like to become closer to God in the year to come and Mark is even starting on the journey as he has decided to attend church with me this year and for this I am so glad and I pray that God will fill his heart with love and a desire to grow closer to the one who loves us so much and really the only one who can help us.

"Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm51:10).

This New Years don't make grand resolutions that will fade in a few short weeks. Choose daily to let God be a part of the little choices...choose to be amazed...and in such a short time!

~Heavenly Father,Thank you that You can create what is right and good in this heart of mine that often struggles with the little daily choices. Thank you that I can count on You to renew a right attitude within me. I am not making grand New Year'sresolutions that will fade, but I am asking You to help me make the right daily choices in the little things of life. I want to be changed in this New Year. I want You to renew right attitudes in me daily. Amaze me with the results,Father, as You guide me in the small things of my day. Thank you that I can face this New Year with freshness and anticipation because You are holding my hand! You will help me in the little things of my life. For this I give You my praise! In Jesus name I pray, amen